Merlin's Medical Maladies
by NursingStudent
Summary: Merlin must defeat bandits, avoid the new "Court Doctor" Ivan the Booksmasher, and recover from a magical clam disease. As his strength is tested, he is called the "Most Valuable Person in Camelot," for monetary reasons, but his real value lies in his unadorned heroism. Enjoy this unique Merlin fanfic!
1. A New Doctor

_Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin and receive no monetary rewards from this story. Set in Season 1._

 **Chapter 1: A New Doctor**

Gaius looked up from his botanic extrapolation experiment as Merlin quickly opened the door. "What is it, Merlin?" Gaius calmly asked, well aware that it might be nothing. The downside of having your apprentice feeling that it was his duty to provide for the safety of all Camelot was that sometimes he would jump to conclusions when nothing was amiss. Of course, there were those times Merlin had _saved_ Camelot, but people usually forgot those.

"It's in the lower town," Merlin said, "The people are, well, um…"

"Get on with it, Merlin."

"Well, they're going to another physician." Merlin tentatively said.

"You mean Dr. Cornelius; but I thought he'd retired three years ago, he said he needed to get back to tutoring."

"No, not him. This man calls himself: Ivan the Booksmasher."

"What? I've never heard of such a man."

"Well, I didn't actually see him; anyway, it's important."

"Well," said Gaius, setting his hand down on the bench. "I don't think it's that important. Unless, he's using magic as King Uther forbids, or he actually does better at treating disease than we do. After all, we have an entire library at our disposal, and he, going by his name, has something against books. That reminds me; we must send Geoffrey of Monmouth a present for his birthday this year, I'm sure he doesn't leave that library much."

"Yes-"

"And we should also have you and Gwen scrub all the walls and shelves of the library, all that dust can't be good for him."

"Well, yes, but…" Merlin fiddled his hands.

"I can even get you off your service to Prince Arthur duties, if you'll agree."

"Gaius, much as I'd like that there is something _very_ important."

"Yes, Merlin?"

"One of Ivan the Booksmasher's patients is out in the hall."

"MERLIN!"

They hurried the somewhat breathless woman into their workroom, quickly sitting her down. Her skin was blotchy and turning bizarre colors, only accentuated by a rash.

"…And it also hurts painfully right here," she muttered, hand on her chest. But it turned out that wasn't the last symptom they learned about as she also promptly fell off her chair. As was noted before, Merlin was cautious to a fault. As he tried to catch her, his hand was forced to the ground, and a glass jar that had been strapped to the woman's shoulder, broke all over his hand.

"M' very sorry," the woman said, seeing Merlin's lacerated hand. "I didn't realize how dizzy I was."

"That's alright." Gaius said. "Tell us everything that happened."

"Well, the other day I had trouble breathing. All m' nearby neighbors in the lower town were talking about a new doctor, and then he walked right by m' kitchen outdoor window. M' sorry, I know you're the official court physician, but a new face in town, is, well, a new face."

"Go on."

"So, I walked over to him and told him about m' problem. He gave me this jar and told me to breathe from it while pressing this movable lever twice a day."

"Did he do anything else?" Gaius quizzed.

"Yes, he took the whole chicken bird I'd just cooked as payment and muttered something indistinguishable."

"Did he mutter magic words?" Merlin interrupted.

"No, he didn't say "please" or "thank you" at all. He was awfully charming, but not as polite as that."

Gathering herbs, Gaius made the woman a relaxing tonic, but they really weren't sure what else they could do. Merlin left to polish the knights' boots for a couple of hours, and by the time he came back, the woman was just starting to get to her feet again. He helped her back down to her house where her twin sons were wondering if they'd ever get supper.

As Merlin walked home, he remembered how fortunate he was to have his own room in the castle. Most of the dwellings in the lower town only had one or two rooms. He was walking past one of these houses as Gwen called him inside. She smiled as she handed him a biscuit that she had just baked. Recently, Gwen had been practicing her culinary skills and Merlin had intentionally walked back past her house in the hope that she would be looking for taste testers. But as Merlin reached for the biscuit Gwen gasped.

"Merlin! Have you been feeding those stray cats again?" The cuts on Merlin's hand did look rather like cat claw marks.

"Actually, this was what Arthur calls an occupational hazard."

Gwen looked even more shocked.

"It's, it's not Arthur's fault this time, it's just that a jar broke all over my hand. Arthur was telling me yesterday that if I get hurt while working, it's an occupational hazard."

Gwen calmed down, "Alright, but you're coming with me." She yanked him out of the house, closing the door behind them. She hurried them down the street, as the air began to chill and nip at their throats.

They stopped in front of the tavern. "I know you don't want to go in there, Merlin, because the knights will tell Prince Arthur that they saw you in there. But there's a doctor in there, who can practically work miracles, and he owes me a favor for that apple pie he nabbed the other day, so I want you to go get your hand fixed." She stood waiting for Merlin to go on, obviously she had no intention of going into the tavern herself.

"You know, Gwen, I work for a physician, I don't need to see another one." Merlin backed away from the tavern door.

"But this doctor is great!" Gwen sighed.

Just then a man with a shining face and large eyes walked out of the tavern. Others, including some of the knights, followed the man outside.

He jumped onto the horse tethering post, "Did I hear someone say the doctor was great? Well, that's what I am, GREAT!" Gwaine began singing a nutty song about the new doctor.

Then he jumped off the post, right in front of Merlin and Gwen. "I am Ivan the Booksmasher and I have a new patient!" He grabbed Merlin's scabbed hand and jerked it into the air like he was an Olympian. Merlin grimaced as the men cheered. Then they began to chant, "Heal him, heal him!" as Gwaine's song meandered in the still air.

"Actually, that's alright." Merlin said to Ivan, attempting to squirm away.

"Let it never be said," began the Booksmasher, "that I left a patient wounded by the side of the road. Especially one with such a lovely friend." He said, turning to Guinevere. If Merlin hadn't been so worried about being in this "doctor's" point blank range, he would've noticed Gwen's nervous expression melting, coordinating with her black curls that reflected a thousand glints of light.

Ivan the Booksmasher reached into one of his oversized pockets and pulled out shiny triangular thing, twisted a cap off of it, and smeared colloidal stuff from it all over Merlin's hand. Merlin spun his head around, and saw in the last tenth of a second that the man's eyes had shone gold.


	2. Magical Microbes

_Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin and receive no monetary rewards from this story. Please enjoy._

 **Chapter Two: Magical Microbes**

Merlin had not wanted to admit it, but his hand did feel better. By the time he had returned home, the scabs were close to falling off on their own. He did not tell Gaius; it was cured already, wasn't it? Gaius did so much work for everyone in Camelot, and Merlin could ease his burden by not mentioning the incident to him.

Merlin awoke some time before dawn. He tried to get back to sleep for awhile before realizing the source of his insomnia. Somehow some pebbles had found their way onto his bed. He scooped them up, put them on the windowsill, and then fell asleep. Shortly afterward, he woke up again. More pebbles! Someone must be tossing them on him as a joke. He barred the door, scooped up the shiny pebbles to add to the stack, and flopped back into bed thinking how much his hand was hurting again.

He did not wake anymore that night.

* * *

"Merlin! Merlin!" Gaius called, knocking on the door.

Merlin stumbled over to the door, opening it quickly.

Gaius gasped, his eyes grew wide, and he slid onto a wooden chair.

Merlin looked down at his hand; pustules covered it, gleaming as they swelled. The skin in between the pustules was red and feverish. Then one of the pustules popped, and a shiny pebble flew out of it. Merlin wanted to faint onto his bed, but it was peppered with pebbles.

"Well, at least you don't have the pox, Merlin, but you had better tell me everything you know."

Merlin explained about the Booksmasher… "I know he had magic, Gaius." Merlin said, remembering the golden eyes.

"Well, Merlin, at least your malady may make you rich."

"What do you mean?"

"Merlin, this 'pebble' is a pearl. You're the most valuable person in all of Camelot now."

"Oh," said Merlin. "Don't tell Arthur, or he'll never let me get better."

"It's more serious than that, Merlin, the infection is spreading. Yesterday you only had cuts on your hand, but the pustules have spread over your wrist as well. I have never seen a disease like this before; I am inclined to think Ivan the Booksmasher only healed the skin and did not clean the wound first. He then must have changed not only your hand with his magic, but also the infection."

"And now I'm a giant clam." A couple more pearls sprang from him. "I'm so hungry."

"Stay in your room, Merlin, I'll bring you food and get you off your duties for today."

Merlin had nothing to do all day; he gathered all the pearls in a box, hoping he could sell them. Yet nothing could distract him from his predicament as the infection spread closer to his elbow. He wasn't allowed to read any of his books, lest Gaius found the disease to be highly contagious and they had to burn everything he touched. At noon, he listened at his door as Arthur came by the workroom. "Well," said Prince Arthur, "I'm afraid that we'll _have_ to get another servant if Merlin isn't better tomorrow. My father's entertaining King Azul of the Laun tomorrow, and they'll need a serving boy to bring all the food to the table, pretending to be the chef, as Azul thinks only men know how to cook."

"He believes that?"

"Well, yes, and none of the knights could carry a tray without beginning a new sort of disc throwing game. Townspeople were even claiming they saw saucers flying down from the gatehouse."

"Well, I'm afraid that Merlin is indisposed. In fact, it would be good if he could take his leave in order to go down to the seaside tomorrow." Gaius said.

"Why, what's the matter with him?" Arthur inquired, beginning to walk up the stairs.

Merlin barely had time, shoving the pearl box under the bed and shooting himself arm first under the covers as Gaius bought him a few seconds by insisting that Merlin wouldn't feel like talking.

"Look, I don't care what he has, I'm sure a visit from the Prince of Camelot would cheer up anyone!" Arthur gallantly marched through the door. Merlin was lying there, his face was a sickly greenish color and so distracting that Arthur failed to notice the disarray of pearls on the floor.

Arthur gulped something about, "Pleagitwell," to Merlin and vacated the room.

A few minutes later Gaius stepped up to Merlin, "I'm sorry Merlin, I didn't realize you were doing that poorly." He said, seeing Merlin's very green flush.

"I'm not, but I couldn't let him know what's really the matter." Merlin put his good hand to his temple.

"So you enchanted your own face… it's very green."

"It's not easy."

"Well, now we'll be able to get you out of Camelot."

"Why, so I can live in the ocean like a clam?"

"No, so we can have an excuse for owning all these pearls!" Gaius quipped, then added, "Merlin, I will go to the library tonight, but if this is a clam disease, it stands to alchemy that we'd find the cure near the ocean."

* * *

Gaius later crept out of his chambers after giving Merlin dinner. The bright side was that none of the villagers had come down with the clam disease as of yet, but who knew what other maladies might fall from the eyes of the Booksmasher. At least Gaius could count on not meeting the Booksmasher at the library.

Gaius was wrong. He walked down the hallway to the library, halting only when he saw a figure huddled against the wall.

"Can I help you?" Gaius asked.

The man looked up, it was Geoffrey of Monmouth and tears were sliding down his face. "Gaius, they're taking them, they're taking all of them! I cannot believe it!"

"Who's taking who?" Asked Gaius, lifting Geoffrey to his feet.

"The knights are taking all the books and locking them under the castle! I will never see them again!" He shuddered, balancing himself against the wall. "Perhaps I should move away! To somewhere I can read, maybe the kingdom of Laun…"

Gaius thrust himself through the library door. There were the knights, packing all the books in crates while King Uther looked relieved. "Milord, what has occurred?" Questioned Gaius.

"We are protecting all the books for safe keeping by moving them underground. Ivan the Booksmasher has been hired as Court Doctor, you, of course, are still the Court Physician, a more noble title. But how could I deny him when the people praise him in the streets?"

"What do you know about him, milord?"

"A little, he cured Arthur's problem the other day."

"Prince Arthur had a problem?"

"A headache, the Booksmasher rang bells for him until it was cured. Sound therapy, you know." King Uther observed the knights, who had just put everything in boxes. Uther glanced toward the corner. "Doctor Ivan will set up shop right here. His room will be behind this empty bookshelf."

"A pity about losing these books." Gaius sighed.

"Yes, well with a reputation of smashing books, it is better to be safe than sorry."

Gaius left the room. He tried to encourage Geoffrey of Monmouth that the change was certainly temporary, but he couldn't convince himself. He needed those books to try to find a cure for Merlin and now his hopes were buried under the castle.


	3. Clams Belong in the Ocean

_Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin and receive no monetary reward from this story, I do, however, enjoy reviews. Please enjoy._

 **Chapter 3: Clams Belong in the Ocean**

Gaius was angry. Certainly he didn't _appear_ angry, but after ruining two sleeping draughts by skipping the most important step he had to stop working. How could he mess up these medicines? They were the most frequently requested medicines in Camelot, (many citizens had trouble sleeping with the monthly enemy attacks upon Camelot – especially the insurance agents) so how could he _fail_ them?

After peering in to make sure Merlin was alright, he tried to sleep but his anger took hold of his dreams…

 _A plague was ravaging Camelot. Sudden swellings on the skin would appear, and half the afflicted were dying. He came to report through the door to King Uther and Prince Arthur, who had barricaded themselves in Uther's room and were living off of rations._

 _"Gaius," came the muffled voice through the door. "What have you learned?"_

 _Gaius told him about the abysmal mortality rate._

 _"You must find a cure." Ordered the king._

 _A week passed with Gaius finding no cure. A commotion started outside the window; Gaius and Merlin rushed to look outside. Ivan the Booksmasher stood in the castle courtyard. A great crowd surrounded him._

 _"I regret to announce," said the Booksmasher with a_ grin _on his face. "That this plague results from years of Gaius' substandard work. He has spent fifty years treating symptoms instead of curing disease. Why? Because as long as he never cures your disease, he can make money relieving your symptoms. Gaius is a selfish old man!"_

 _Gaius grumbled and closed the window, Merlin left with the newly made medicines and the list of addresses, and Gaius returned to his work._

 _Later Merlin returned. Gaius wept. Merlin had played the hero again working among the sick: his skinny frame had not a clam disease, but the pox._

 _"He was right, you know," Merlin gasped, "The Booksmasher was right."_

 _Gaius tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. He then realized that he was dreaming._

And Gaius awoke and caught his breath. By now sunbeams were slipping through the window onto the front door. Now he knew what he was going to do: he was going to cure Merlin! Camelot didn't really want him anymore, so he would simply focus on his one patient.

He began to pack. His nightmare was stupid and ridiculous, but Merlin had had so many magical dilemmas that Gaius was starting to think anything could happen. He bundled Merlin up in a blanket and they scuttled down the corridor.

* * *

Morgana was bored. Guinevere had already brushed Morgana's hair twice, made her bed, and polished her mirror. Morgana would've considered finding something to read, but the only books around were about the laws of Camelot and were in Uther's chambers since the library had been cleared. She really needed a job. It was too bad Merlin was already working for Gaius; she felt it might be nice to work by mixing potions, poultices, and herbal remedies. It was mysterious and Morgana liked everything like that, so she chose that moment to see if she could command Merlin to brush her horse's mane while she quizzed Gaius about whether or not she could be an assistant.

Morgana moved her slippered feet down the corridors, her silken sleeves billowing in the breezeway as she turned down Gaius' corridor. Then she felt a hard painful object under her foot and bent down to discover a shiny pearl. She looked up to see if anyone was around and spied another pearl down the hallway. There seemed to be a trail of them. Soon she had put on some decent shoes and followed the pearls down to the stables, the pearls then led to the lower town.

The people were chattering in the lower town, happily finding pearls all over the main street. Clearly, the pearl dropper had left the castle to journey out of Camelot. Maybe he had even stolen those pearls from the treasury. Morgana laughed with joy, now she could save Camelot, now she could prove she was capable in King Uther's eyes, and now she could finally beat Arthur at something.

She went into the stables and saddled Snowflake, her mare, but before she could leave Sir Leon came over, "Milady, may I help you?"

"Certainly," she replied. This was going to her plan, but she knew that if the knights knew that they might be dealing with thieves, they wouldn't let Morgana leave the castle, so she lied. "Please open the gates, Prince Arthur's dog escaped and I want to go find it."

"Alone?"

"Of course."

Leon grumbled, and tried to reason Morgana out of her plan since this was exactly what King Uther did not like. Yet she insisted on her plan: now Leon would have to bring a couple knights with him and trail Morgana at a distance since there were slave traders in the woods. But Morgana always found out and this time it was part of her plan to make them come along. She could not have tackled jewelry thieves alone.

* * *

 _THUMP!_

Gaius sighed, Merlin had fallen off of his horse and into a gorse bush.

"I'm sorry," Merlin mumbled as Gaius helped him to his feet. He swayed precariously and barely managed ascent onto the saddle after Gaius gave him some water and herbs to help with his dizziness. They rode slowly for a few hours with Gaius right beside Merlin in case Merlin felt faint again. As it grew dark, Merlin attempted to light a torch with his eyes, but they only glowed slightly and could not light the wood. By dusk they reached a few crofts beside the sea.

Merlin lay on a rock with his head in his good hand as Gaius strode to the end of the dock, filled the pitcher with ocean water, and returned to Merlin.

"You want me to drink that?" Merlin questioned feebly.

Gaius nodded, there was nothing else they could do.

The seawater tasted like a hearty meal to Merlin. He gulped it down and then fell asleep.

He awoke the next morning in a stable, apparently there were no inns in town, and Gaius was there to give him more seawater. He felt much better, but could still not perform magic and the infection had also spread over his chest. Gaius racked his brain.

He could think of nothing.

No thing could cure Merlin.

No place could cure Merlin.

No magic could cure Merlin.

So Gaius reviewed the facts. 1. Merlin disease was of magical origin. 2. The seawater made Merlin better, but fed the disease. 3. The disease weakened Merlin's magical powers. Was the disease feeding off Merlin's magic as well? Maybe that was the reason no one else in Camelot had shown up with the same symptoms – they didn't have the magic to feed it.

One thing was for sure, Merlin had more inborn magical ability than anyone who had magic so the disease would probably wind up killing him before his body ran out of magic to feed it.

This was going to be hard.


	4. The Illness No Magic Could Cure

_Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin and receive no monetary reward from this story. Please enjoy.  
_

 **Chapter 4: The Illness No Magic Could Cure**

Sir Leon and Sir Winchester were resting thirty feet away from Morgana's campsite. Disregarding the uncomfortable feeling that they were not alone in the woods, Sir Leon contemplated the lady Morgana's behavior. It was clear to Leon that Morgana was not looking for lost pets. She had started out riding her horse, but as she kept dismounting about every twenty feet to collect things from off the forest floor, they hadn't gotten very far. Maybe they'd actually get somewhere tomorrow.

* * *

Merlin lay on a blanket atop the straw in the stable which kept poking uncomfortably into his skin. He barely had any energy to move and felt as if he'd just run for miles. His infected skin had begun to weep and had sodden his shirt so he had taken it off. He was on his third gallon of seawater but still felt thirsty due to the weeping skin. He was miserable. He stared at the fire blankly as his horse began to munch on the bale of straw underneath his blanket.

Gaius returned with more wood and stoked the fire. He began to boil up some plants Merlin had never seen before. The smell of them made Merlin feel funny, almost itchy, like he could scratch his illness away, but he felt rather weak and so resisted the temptation well. Merlin wasn't sure how much time Gaius spent making his potion. Time randomly sped up and slowed down, everything was foggy, and the last thing Merlin remembered was gagging at medicine that tasted like ashes and Brussel sprouts.

* * *

Morgana arrived late that evening by the coast, after inquiring with the locals (who all wanted money), Morgana and the knights learned that two men had entered the town recently. Morgana had explained to the knights her suspicions and they crept to the stable after ensuring there were no escape routes.

Sir Leon flung open the door, ordering, "DROP YOUR WEAPONS!"

Gaius dropped a frying pan and steaming water hit his hand.

Sir Leon, Sir Winchester, and Morgana turned as red as cherry pie filling at the sight of Gaius' injured hand.

"What are you doing here?" Everyone asked except Merlin, who was still asleep, oblivious to scabs covering his left arm and chest.

"We came to cure Merlin's illness." Stated Gaius.

Morgana stared nervously, "Is it contagious?"

"We must hope not. Merlin has begun recovery." Gaius said, cradling his burnt hand behind his back.

Morgana was about to look away, but then she saw more pearls, all around Merlin on the blanket on the straw. "Where did these come from?"

Gaius blinked. "Milady, I do not discuss my patient's problems with others, except as required by law."

"We have been following a trail of pearls for two days and it has brought us to Merlin."

There was silence, only broken by a creaking noise and the sound of the horses.

"Merlin has been afflicted by a clam disease, but he is recovering."

"These pearls came from _him_?" Sir Winchester gaped.

Their worrying was interrupted by a holler and a nearing sound of twenty horsemen. They forced the three into the stable with Gaius and snatched the pearl sack out of Morgana's hands.

These horsemen were jewelry thieves and were ironically alerted to the pearls by Morgana. During her meticulous search for the pearl trail, a real jewelry thief had spied her actions and told his accomplices. Because Morgana was traveling so slowly through the woods, the pack of thieves had been able to catch up, and had followed the three all the way to the stable. Their leader had also heard Gaius' explanation.

The thieves wrested Sir Leon's and Sir Winchester's weapons away from them after a minute's fight had led to ten thieves and two knights being knocked unconscious. They tied Morgana, Gaius, and the knights up with their backs toward one another. Then they bundled up the pearls, the knights' swords, and Merlin onto their new horses nabbed from the citizens of Camelot.

* * *

Merlin awoke very puzzled. He was tied in a cold misty moldy shack and brutes were coughing and sneezing at him, _on purpose_. In front of him were cards that scrawled, "DON'T get well soon!" With angry faces in stick drawings under the words.

One of the brutes sneered at Merlin then called in their leader.

"Marrrlin," the leader growled. "You will grow us more purrrls, or you will starrrrve."

* * *

King Uther initially ignored the news well, he hadn't even thought it was necessary to recue Merlin until he was told about the pearl problem by Morgana. Then, Gaius was questioned about what had caused Merlin's disease, revealing the sorcery of the mysteriously absent "Court Doctor", Ivan the Booksmasher. The King considered rubbed his chin with his gloved hand. If a horde of thieves owned an endless jewelry supply, they could bribe citizens to not turn them in, and attack merchants on the road to Camelot. Upper class citizens would then complain about the scarcity of fine items and move to other lands, carrying their wealth away with them.

Then everyone realized they had no idea where Merlin had been taken.

So that night the king offered a reward to anyone who returned Merlin, sketches of Merlin were ordered to be posted throughout the kingdom, and Prince Arthur was sent out because Uther wanted to keep the reward in the family. It was the perfect opportunity. Camelot would prosper off of the magical disease while the Booksmasher would be caught and executed so no other kingdoms would profit from his schemes. The King told himself this was for the greater good. What was the happiness of a servant worth compared to the riches Camelot would enjoy? And Uther would be right to execute a false-doctor like the Booksmasher, after all, how many Citizens of Camelot had the Booksmasher killed by his incompetent actions?

Yes, it was a good time to be king.

* * *

Ivan the Booksmasher was a wanted man. The half of his patients who received his miracle cures desired his continued services, and the half that suffered adverse reactions at his hands were out to get him. As soon as word had swept into Camelot about the servant boy and the pearl disease, he knew Uther would no longer welcome his type of secretly magical healing that the Camelot market had been unsaturated with for so long. The Booksmasher had packed his few medicines and his new heavy bags of gold and evacuated the former library.

Four hours later he was deep in the South woods on a dark, damp night listening to hooting owls. He gripped his traveling cloak 'round him, and began a familiar incantation. His ancient words translated as this:

 _"Lead me to my next scheme  
"Wherein the gold gleams  
"With nerve and gall  
"I'd gamble all  
"For fortune lies to those with no walls."_

Then he pulled out heavy dragon claw dice, and let them strike the moonlit ground. Dismounting his horse, he walked four times in a circle before picking the dice up, then he walked backward four times around his horse, and finally he jumped repeatedly while yelling "Cesar's Head, Cesar's Head, AH HA!"

This peculiar ritual was one he'd invented. He never read any books and the wealthy druids would not tell him their "enriching" spells. He finally realized that the dice pointed him back to Camelot. This was unacceptable. He finally mounted his horse again and ordered it to find him some treasure. The horse trotted to the south, away from Camelot. The Booksmasher then enchanted himself to fall asleep on his horse. It would probably be a long ride.

* * *

Merlin was not having the same luck. Although his eyelids drooped like a hunk of soft bread dough, the brutes couldn't resist bursting into the shack every five minutes to growl at him. But Merlin couldn't make more pearls, in fact, he couldn't even do magic. That familiar glow in his vision had not returned. Even as his physical strength rose, Merlin had never felt so incapable before.

But he would get past this. He was Merlin, a man of destiny who was important regardless of his abilities. But he was not helpless. He was not afraid to be a servant. He was not above doing the tough work. He pulled on the bonds on his wrists; they had been tied for a deathly ill prisoner, not a young man. Flexing his wrists, they loosened.

Now he just had to get past the guards.

* * *

Prince Arthur and the knights had no trouble following the trail left by the brutes who kidnapped Merlin. When the bandits had captured Merlin, Gaius had quickly stabbed a hole in one of the sacks holding the pearls. No one had noticed. A clear trail of pearls was left in the path of escape which Arthur and his knights were able to follow south, along Camelot's Western coast.

In their haste the bandits hadn't noticed the pearls until it was too late. Sometimes the trail of pearls mysteriously vanished, only to reappear a few miles later.

Prince Arthur studied the hoof prints, noting the lack of debris atop them and their freshness. He could feel they were closing in on the bandits.

* * *

The leader of the brutes was a man called Nargull and he wanted to prove that bad guys were not stupid. Being a self-respecting bad guy, he'd tried the instructions he'd read in _The Bandit Handbook:_ pounding nails into the wall with his forehead, stubbing his toes multiple times to get used to it, and walking backwards four times around a stolen horse. But nothing worked! It was terrible. He resolved to do better.

So he went to check on "MARRRLIN". He opened the moldy shack door after his hands slipped a couple times on the mold. Then he blinked.

"Of your courtesy," Merlin said gasping from a pathetic position on the floor. "Cut my bonds."

Nargull hadn't heard this type of language since he ran away from The School of Noble Sons. For a second he slipped into his now despised habits. "Certainly… Wait? You don't think I'd fall for that."

In response Merlin just sagged on the floor. His breaths came raggedly and unsteadily.

"HE'S DYING! HE'S DYING! AAAH!" Nargull sped outside, grabbing the other bandits, shaking them so hard that the pearls they'd sneakily stashed for their own under their unwashed clothes dribbled to the ground.

By the time the bandits rushed into the hut, "Marrrlin" was gone; he had jumped through the moldy, rotten wall. The wall was so decayed, the bandits couldn't even prick themselves with the splinters no matter how hard they tried as they attempted to prove "Marrrlin" hadn't escaped without a fight.

Thirty yards away, Merlin was silently laughing. He'd done it, he'd escaped bandits and gotten well, all without using magic. But he was still very weak, so he rested hidden in shrubbery under a tree.

It was not long before someone came by, Ivan the Booksmasher's horse walked calmly out of the woods. The Booksmasher was riding it, even though he appeared to be asleep. Every time he leaned too far one way or the other, some sort of magic pushed him to the other side, creating an effect of a slowly moving upside-down pendulum. Merlin didn't know which was more unusual, the pendulum effect or the fact that the Booksmasher was using magic openly so close to Camelot.

After a long, soulful glance from the horse that missed his favorite stable-boy, Merlin saw the horse continue on its way. The horse was headed directly to the bandit camp. The Booksmasher might be beaten or killed.

Merlin tried to divert the horse and he tried to wake the Booksmasher, but it was to no avail. Whatever magic was guiding them was too strong.

By all rights, Merlin should've run away, here was the man who had almost killed him with uncontrolled magic and unclean medical technique. Here was the man who had disrespected Gaius. And here was the man who was a living insult to all the book studying and late nights in the library that Merlin had spent.

It was time. It was time for Merlin to not play the hero, but be the hero, because when you are the hero you save a person, not their mistakes. You save him even if you don't have magic.

Being a hero for Merlin was never simply because he had magic, or because he was witty or resourceful. It was about equity, compassion, sacrifice, and all those big words the bad guys didn't care to understand.

This was how Merlin found himself in the middle of trying to catch Ivan the Booksmasher who finally awoke in mid-air after a bandit hit him, a horse munching on a sack of pearls, a couple random bad guys insisting that, "Marrrlin is a ghost!" And a voice Merlin recognized quite well.

It was Prince Arthur and the Knights of Camelot. They knights quickly disarmed the outnumbered bandits. Merlin glanced around to see Sir Leon grinning, Prince Arthur looking like a prat, and another knight having fun with the rope. All was well.

Then an arm encircled Merlin's neck, Ivan the Booksmasher yelled ancient magic words, and the forest was gone.

* * *

 _I hope you liked this chapter. I may have gone overboard with the anti-badguy jokes. The Booksmasher's rhyming spell is not supposed to have a meter._


	5. The Library

_Here is the last chapter of Merlin's Medical Maladies, I do not own BBC Merlin._

 **Chapter 5: The Library**

Merlin opened his eyes in a library. Books neatly sat on shelves and Merlin could see dust in light streaming through glass windows high above his head. Merlin had fallen onto a deep carpet, he subconsciously ran his hands through the carpet, feeling its pliability. It was indeed a rich room, furnished with carven reading desks and high backed chairs.

"You like it?" A prideful voice asked. "This is the library of King Azul of the Laun and the perfect place where no one would ever think to find me."

"Why did you bring me here?" Merlin asked the Booksmasher.

"You're my hostage. I thought that was obvious. Until I know for sure you won't have any more pearls popping out of your ears, I need to keep you around."

"King Azul of the Laun is a friend of Camelot." Merlin said, "He won't hesitate to imprison you."

"King Azul," the Booksmasher said. "Is away visiting Camelot this moment; we are quite alone."

Merlin glanced around, the Booksmasher had magically locked the doors and there was no one in sight; he hoped the Booksmasher had brought food.

"Now," the Booksmasher smiled. "You might have stories about me, nasty stories. Well, it is true, I smash books. I could tell by the awe you have for this library and your adoration of _Gaius_ that you love books. But as my hostage, you will do as I say. Go to the bookshelf." He absently motioned to a bookshelf in the corner.

Merlin walked over. Tomes of leather, bark, and cloth covers greeted him.

"Pick up that book."

Merlin gripped the worn cover. It was a book of how to tell medicinal herbs from poisonous plants. Definitely a fascinating read.

"Rip the pages." The Booksmasher commanded, his voice devoid of emotion.

Merlin didn't turn around, quickly, he silently tested his magic, attempting to conjure a flame in his free hand. He didn't feel anything.

"Rip out the pages." The Booksmasher said.

Merlin turned around. He didn't want to be a part of this. The Booksmasher grinned, but over his shoulder Merlin saw a silent figure: it was Geoffrey of Monmouth, carrying a sword. He had been reading behind the bookshelves when they had teleported.

Ivan the Booksmasher's eyes flickered gold, the wind picked up around Merlin, pulling the books off the shelves ripping the pages.

Geoffrey of Monmouth hollered, "You-destroyed-my-library!" He rushed forward, stabbing the Booksmasher in the shoulder.

"AUUUUGH!" The Booksmasher screamed, this caused a commotion. The guards of Laun pounded on the magically locked doors.

"Open the locks." Geoffrey of Monmouth said, prodding the Booksmasher's other shoulder with the sword.

" _Tospringe_." The Booksmasher muttered. The doors shot open and the guards rushed in and arrested everybody.

* * *

That night, Merlin awoke from his extended nap to learn that they were still in the dungeon. It turned out that Geoffrey of Monmouth had fled to the kingdom of Laun seeking freedom to read the morning after his library had been cleared. And although the Laun guards recognized him, he was suspected of stabbing Ivan the Booksmasher. The Booksmasher and Merlin were still in the dungeon because of their unknown roles. The guards were still trying to figure out who destroyed part of their library because Ivan had conveniently not recited his full name.

Merlin was slumping against the cold wall. Normally he'd try to relax while being imprisoned but now that he had nothing to do, his mind was fully focused on his missing magic. He couldn't remember anything Gaius had said yesterday or whenever it was Gaius had treated him.

The Booksmasher interrupted his thoughts, "Serving boy, I need you to treat my shoulder."

"You mean you can't do it, _Court Doctor?_ " Merlin said sarcastically.

"Have you ever tried treating your own shoulder?"

"I learned all my medical skills from books and Gaius, so you wouldn't want me." Merlin said. "Besides, I might infect it and cause you to have 'pearls popping out of your ears'."

And that would have been that, but since Merlin was a hero, he later treated the shoulder.

* * *

In three days, the Laun guard found that two of their prisoners were wanted men. Ivan the Booksmasher was wanted for sorcery and malpractice. Merlin was wanted because he was "the most valuable person in Camelot." King Azul of the Laun went ahead and freed Geoffrey of Monmouth too, giving him a medal for apprehending Ivan the Booksmasher.

Merlin and Geoffrey of Monmouth spent a day riding back to Camelot. No one gave Merlin a medal and everyone seemed disappointed his pock-marked skin was healing so quickly. Everyone, that is, except Gaius, who greeted Merlin in the court and brought him upstairs for a bowl of soup and sweet bread.

"Here, eat up, goodness knows you need it."

Merlin smiled, and begin to eat the soup. "Gaius, my, uh, my magic is gone."

"Yes, but it is only temporary. It may take up to a month, though, for it to come back. Although I do not know for certain, I believe the medicine irreversibly binds to your body's magical impulse receptors. Because of this irreversible binding, you will have to wait until your body grows new receptors."

Merlin stopped eating his soup for a second. "Oh."

"I guess you'll just have to learn to live without magic for a time."

"I think I already have." Merlin finished the soup with record speed. "That was good soup, Gaius, what was it?"

"Clam chowder." Gaius said and smiled.

The End.

* * *

 _I do not own BBC Merlin and receive no monetary reward for this story. Thanks goes to my beta reading sister (who invented the "Chicken-bird" redundancy). Ivan the Booksmasher, Nargull, King Azul of the Laun, the Clam Disease, walking backwards four times around your horse, and magic sleep-riding are original ideas I had for this story. The magic/medical situations are for entertainment purposes only and not to be tried at home. This story took two-semesters to write, but Merlin eventually escaped that moldy shack. Yes, there are a few references to The Chronicles of Narnia strewn in various parts of this story. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Please come again._


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